She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize