used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize