Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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