when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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