Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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