capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
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You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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