You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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