I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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