ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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