respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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