the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
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Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This toilet bowl is my home.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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