Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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