I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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