fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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