Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
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He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
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The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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