my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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