I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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