just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
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What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
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I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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