I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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