How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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