Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize