I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize