So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize