is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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