Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize