i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize