She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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