after a month anything with tits is on the radar
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize