I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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