when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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