I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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