so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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