I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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