My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Someone signed my nipple.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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