i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize