does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
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The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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