How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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