Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
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I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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