No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize