Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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