did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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