I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
this hospital has no fireball
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize