Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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