I wish i was in the wii world.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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