I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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