Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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