shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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