At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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