girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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