She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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