He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
how does that bad decision feel?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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