Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
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The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
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I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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